Rude Awakening!

I am a freakishly heavy sleeper. I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere, at any time, and sleep very soundly. I mean, the lights can be on, TV or music can be on, people can be talking, etc. An infant that I saw sleeping soundly near the dance floor and DJ at a wedding this past weekend, reminded me of...me!

So, what does it take for me to wake up in the middle of the night when I am sleeping soundly in my super comfy bed??! Pretty much only two things:
1. My dogs making any noise at all (this is where my maternal instincts kick in - I can hear them above any other noise and wake up instantly to make sure they are ok)
2. Someone BANGING on our front door

Yes - someone was BANGING on our front door at 4:00 a.m. this past Friday night. I jumped out of bed and yelled to Michael "Someone is banging on our front door!!! Turn on the lights!!".

I grabbed my cell phone, dialed 9-1-1 and had my finger ready to press send. All the while, Michael was still trying to figure out exactly what happened. Somehow, Michael will wake up at even the slightest noise and get bothered by the TV being on in the bedroom, yet he did not hear this banging!! Crazy!

I ran to the front door, looked out the peephole and saw a woman laying on the ground in the middle of our walkway, and a man standing beside her. So I banged on the door and yelled "WHO IS IT???!?!?!" Hey - it seemed like the best thing to do at the time. I couldn't open the door because I was not fully dressed AND the alarm would have started going off.

Well, no one answered me, so I ran around to the study window to look out to see if I could get a better view. All the while, my finger is still on the send button and Michael is still trying to figure out what is going on and why I am not acting scared, but am wanting to confront the morons banging on our door at 4:00 a.m. This is very unlike me. Typically, when I get scared in the middle of the night, I stay in bed while I make Michael walk around the house carrying a flashlight, checking all the closets and behind all the doors, all the while he's yelling intermittently (at my request) "Everything looks fine...just a couple more rooms to check. It's ok, don't be scared".

Finally, after getting a better view, I realize its the idiots that live across the street!!! We don't like them because one time they were mean to us when we were unloading a u-haul at midnight and barely blocking their driveway. But that is a whole other story!!

They have not lived in the house across the street for very long. They are renting it while the owners are living overseas for a short time. Its a very strange living situation: an older man, his 30-something daughter, her 12 year old son, and the daughter's boyfriend....well, sort of, I think he just spends the night a lot.

From what I can tell looking out the window, the girl is messed up - we're talking drunk, high or something! She is rolling around on the ground outside of our house!! The boyfriend is YELLING at her and trying to get her out of our yard. Apparently, they must have been in a huge fight and she ran to our house to bang on the front door (yeah, that makes sense????). Essentially, its undoubtedly a really bad domestic dispute.

Anyway, not scared at all at this point and wanting to figure out what the heck they are doing BANGING on our door, I yell at Michael to go get dressed and ask these punks what the h*$# is going on while I go turn off the burglar alarm and calm down the dogs.

Michael is STILL utterly confused and moving VERY slowly. By the time he is dressed, I yell at him to run out the door and confront these morons. I realize I should not have been yelling at Michael, but its hard for me to stay calm!!

Well, the girl must have been inside already at that time...and the boyfriend was driving out of the driveway so fast that his tires were screeching as Michael was running outside.

I have a feeling we'll never know what really happened and that totally irks me!! As Michael would imitate me saying like I always do "How rude!!!".

Featured in Health magazine!

Ok, well not really "featured"...but I was quoted! You know, I gotta try to exaggerate a little bit - it's the way I am!

Quoted about what? Sex...orgasms specifically. And I am NOT going to tell you what the quote is on this blog because some of the readers may really NOT want to know. (You know who you are).
*Since I first posted this story, I have had so many curious george's calling me to ask what I said and now I have been talked into posting my quote within the comments section of this post. So go there if you WANT to know what I said. LOL - I have no shame!


Anyway, it's kind of cool. After my quote, it says "Allison, 27 years old, Plano, TX".

But if you want to see it, there's not much time left since the March issue will be replaced with the April issue very soon.

How did such a thing happen to me? (This is the first question I've been getting asked, so I will explain). I get tons of junk mail in my gmail inbox, and I recently got something from Health magazine that listed articles, etc. One of the things listed in the email said "Take our sex quiz!". So of course, I take the quiz! ha! Then, when I was finished with the quiz, there was a question at the end that asked for my name and email address and if the magazine can contact me for further comments...again, I said yes. And one of the writers working on the sex article for the March issue contacted me by email, asked me some questions, and one of my answers to one of the questions actually ended up in the magazine. Crazy!

I have decided after "starring" on The View last May (okay, okay, "being given only one line to say" on The View), I have decided to make it my goal to try to make it in some type of national media each year. Yes, I realize this is a goal only I would make! But heck, I made it on Chelsi's blog yesterday, so maybe I am on my way!