Baby Mania!!!

Sorry for being post happy today, but I am going out of town on Friday and won't be posting much in the next few days and seem to have a lot to say today.

I'm headed to Columbia, Missouri to host my cousin Kristin Lind's baby shower. She is having her 2nd child and it's a GIRL! Needless to say, I am thrilled and completely living vicariously through her at the moment. :) I've been working hard and hoping that her shower will be a great success! I will be sure to post many pictures as soon as I'm back on Monday, March 9th.


Precious newborn baby Wyatt and me holding him for the first time!


Kristin and her son, Wyatt (he was almost 2 in this picture)


Josh and Kristin

Also, last night I found out that my cousin Wade (Kristin's brother) and his wife Heather are pregnant! I am so excited for them! I cannot put into words how happy I am that they are having a little one! They are so incredibly special to me, and I am excited to see them during this next stage of their lives.


Left to right: Wade, Heather, Me, my brother Carter (in Cabo for Wade and Heather's wedding)


Left to right: Kristin, Heather, Me
P.S. I realize you can see the outline of my bra in this picture, but you're just going to have to get over it! I did! But I don't make the same mistake twice, that's for sure!

Other than my excitement for them, I have some other emotions about all of this: I can't help but feel a little left behind. I'm so embarrassed to say that and feel so selfish saying it, but let me explain. Wade and I have done EVERYTHING at the same time in life and because of that, I feel he and I have a really special bond. Here's what I mean:
-We were born one month apart
-We graduated high school on the same day
-We got engaged a month apart and the ring he picked out for Heather just so happened to be identical to my engagement ring without either of us knowing anything about each other's rings
-We got married a month apart and Heather's wedding ring just so happened to be the same design as mine without us knowing...once again
-We got our first dog within a month of each other
-We purchased our first houses within a month of each other
-We got our second dog within a month of each other

So I guess I always thought we'd be having a baby...within a month of each other. WRONG!

Wrong because I know I'm not pregnant right now, and wrong because I know I'm not ready. Not that I'm not ready to be a mother...I already am a mother to two puppies that needs lots of love and nurturing! Really though, I'm SO ready to be a mother! And not that I'm waiting for the PERFECT timing to have a child...I know there is no such thing as being 100% "ready"...especially financially. And my dad's dad's advice to my dad (does that make sense?) was "if you wait until you are financially ready to have a baby, you'll never have a baby". And I take that to heart, so that's definitely not it.

I do feel I need to be SOMEWHAT financially... AND physically, emotionally and spiritually ready to have a child. I definitely have some things I want to work on before having a child, namely:
-Financially: going from two salaries to one salary isn't going to be easy! All of the wise advice we received before getting married "if you plan to stay at home with your children, then make sure to only live on one paycheck from day one, and save the rest" went out the window almost immediately. I like my paycheck and I like spending it. Also, we use it to help pay for home improvement, debt, student loans, etc. which has got to be a good thing, right? Obviously, we've got to figure this part out. I'd rather live in a shack than have to work when I have kids. That's just me because I'm overly protective and controlling (ask my brothers if you don't believe me)...I just know I wouldn't be able to go back to work at first. I mean, I am incredibly picky about where I board my dogs and freak out about having to leave them so much that I almost cry anytime we go out of town.
-Physically: I definitely want to get in better shape before having a baby. The past two years have held major health issues for me with asthma re-appearing out of nowhere. The doctors drugged me up pretty good. I was taking two daily steroid medications and being injected with prednisone weekly just so that I could BREATHE. And that wasn't good for the scale...nor was not being able to workout good for my health and fitness. I feel like I have a long ways to go, but things are much better now. I have been on allergy shots for a year and they are making a difference...enough of a difference that I am off my steroid medication and don't ever need prednisone anymore (PTL!!!).
-Spiritually: There are so many ways I'd like to mature in my faith and in my walk with the Lord before having a baby. I could go on and on. I want to trust in His plan and His timing...and so much more (see below too).
-Emotionally: I want to be a better wife. I want to be more loving and sensitive. I want to learn how/what a gentle and quiet spirit is. I want to learn how to be more devoted and thoughtful and submissive. This all sort of goes under spiritual too I guess. I believe all of these things come from a heart transformed by Jesus. They are not something I can control and "white knuckle" on my own, so I'm not going to, but I am praying for change and growth when it comes to these issues.

Am I the only person that seems to be surrounded by family and friends who are all pregnant!?! Maybe contributing to the problem is that many bloggers (at least the blogs I read) are mom's already or are currently pregnant.

It just seems like there is some real baby mania right now. And it makes it hard for a girl to be content. Not that it's wrong for me to desire to have a child and start my family - not at all! God put that desire in me...that is the way He made me, and I'm so thankful for that! But I need to put my trust and hope in Him and His will for me and have patience. I want to learn how to do that. I want to be more dependent on Him. I want my faith to be increased. I want for my ultimate desires to be to glorify Him in everything. I know He wants to teach me this.

Also, I've only been married for one year, 8 months, and 28 days (but who's counting??) I want to enjoy this stage of my life and have fun being a young newlywed! I truly do...and I am most of the time! But it can be difficult for me.

Looking to the future and what Michael "fondly" refers to as "Allison's next big thing" (as he rolls his eyes) has always been so hard for me to reign in. I am always so focused on my future and reaching my goals that its almost impossible for me to enjoy the here and now and relish in my present circumstances. When I was in high school, I couldn't wait for college, when I was in college, I couldn't wait to get married, after I got married, I couldn't wait to buy my first house, after I bought the house...well, you already know! I can't wait to have my kiddos! The funny thing about this futuristic side of me is that it works. Meaning, my life has played out exactly the way I thought it would, and I have gotten everything I've ever wanted...even the downright silly things like wanting to have a 4.0 for my major GPA in college. If I set a goal, I'm probably going to reach it. Even though all of this is so true, luckily, I am still able to be very spontaneous and not too rigid for the most part. Thank Goodness!

Not to disgress, but I always have to wonder if "my next big thing" is genetic. I mean, I am my dad's daughter without a doubt (we are SO much alike), and this is the man who is a successful surgeon with a private practice yet also became a rancher in 1995 and decided to go to law school in 2001 and has always been extremely entrepreneurial...heck, he is basically an architect and home builder as well. And by the way, yes, I did say law school...he is unreal!!! I think constantly challenging yourself and trying new things are so important though, and I thank my dad for teaching me to not be complacent or apathetic. He instilled in me confidence, self-assurance, intelligence, competition, work ethic, incredible family values and integrity. He taught me to chase my dreams and never take no for an answer. I am PROUD to be his daughter!! He is amazing in so many ways. Without the unconditional love and support of my daddy, I would absolutely not be the person I am today. I am realizing I probably need a separate post for this topic because I could go on and on and on. But Dads being there for their daughters can make all the difference in the world, and I cannot wait to see what an amazing Daddy that Michael is going to be!

Some favorite pictures of my Dad and me on my favorite day!








I hope this post wasn't too boring. Lots of words and not too funny. :) Just the real Allison. These are my struggles and thoughts and hopes and dreams...